In recent years, there has been increased public alarm over the rise in stealth (i.e., secretly removing a condom during sex without the partner’s consent or knowledge). This is a sexual crime that has serious physical, psychological and emotional effects on the victim.
Fortunately, stealth is classified as a crime in countries such as Germany, the United Kingdom, Switzerland, and Canada.
What is stealth?
Stealthing, which translates to “secretly” or “secretly,” is the act of removing a condom during sex without the partner’s consent, misleading them into thinking the condom is still being used.
The term was coined by American lawyer Alexandra Brodsky in an article published in a magazine. Columbia Journal of Gender and Law. She revealed that the essence of stealth lies in deception, which violates the consent and trust of other participants and undermines their sexual autonomy and safety. Brodsky said:
“If someone agrees to a specific sexual act that involves contraception, and you unilaterally change the terms of that agreement midway through the act, that’s a sex crime.”
Legal requirements for criminal stealth
In Spain, a Madrid regional court sentenced a man to two years in prison for sexual abuse after he had sex without a condom, even though he had agreed to use one. The incident was classified as a stealth act and described as “the subtle removal, omission, or failure to use a condom during all or part of a sexual encounter, despite the partner’s consent or request as a condition of consent.”
In this case, the woman consented to sexual relations on the condition that she use a condom. The man violated her consent by secretly removing it, resulting in a non-consensual act that violated her sexual freedom.
For an act of stealth to be considered sexual abuse (or sexual assault in current legal terminology), there must be mutual agreement to use a condom, and one party must remove the condom without the other’s consent by “deception, concealment, or covert action” and pretend to still be wearing a condom.
Legal implications of stealth actions
In 2021, California became the first U.S. state to pass a law charging stealth activity, and a handful of states have since followed suit. The remaining states that do not yet have direct stealth-acting laws can bring charges under other laws, such as sexual assault and assault.
Additionally, stealth can be prosecuted as assault if the perpetrator has a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and intentionally removes the condom and infects his partner.
If you or someone you know has experienced stealth activity, consult a legal professional to discuss your options.
Causes of stealth behavior
The practice is not new, but it gained widespread attention in 2021 when influencer Naim Daresh bragged online that she deceived her partners by faking infertility to avoid using condoms. His reasoning? “I can’t do it. It’s too difficult to use a condom. That’s why I never use a condom. At one point I thought, ‘It’s weird that I haven’t gotten anyone pregnant after all these years.'”
This “difficulty using condoms” is a common excuse, often accompanied by statements such as “I don’t feel anything,” “I don’t like it,” or “It’s too tight.” These excuses are infuriating when you consider that condoms like HEX (the thinnest on the market) are only 0.045 mm thick (twice the thickness of a human hair) and the risk of pregnancy and serious STD outcomes.
Another motivation for stealth is a sense of entitlement to “propagate one’s species.” A 2017 study by Alexandra Brodsky analyzed online forums where men encouraged each other to remove condoms without their partners’ consent. The main justification was that it was a “man’s natural right” to ejaculate inside a woman.
This concept has a disturbing dual connotation: tampering with contraception to impregnate women without their consent, and a patriarchal idea of women as objects of male pleasure with no autonomy. Acts of stealth can be a form of power assertion, punishment, or humiliation.
Effects of stealth on victims
The most obvious consequences are unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, etc.), with all the attendant physical and psychological consequences. Victims Brodsky interviewed reported feeling their sexual integrity was seriously violated in relation to fear. Of these results.
Another serious negative effect is the feeling of being violated.– about their bodies, autonomy and dignity. Many victims require psychotherapy to overcome the trauma, especially if the act was committed by a trusted friend or stable partner.
How to prevent and deal with stealth behavior
prevention
- Inspect the condom before sex to make sure it is undamaged.
- Check regularly during intercourse to make sure it hasn’t been removed.
- If possible, bring your own condoms and put them on yourself.
- Consider using a female condom, which is wide, thin, and lubricated and provides additional protection against sexually transmitted infections. It can also be inserted several hours before sex and worn until after ejaculation without losing effectiveness.
What to do if this happens
- Please report it immediately. Call emergency services or law enforcement (the National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24 hours a day at +1 (800) 656-4673). They will protect you, provide medical and psychological support, and collect evidence for prosecution.
- Please see a doctor. Even if you don’t report the incident, request emergency contraception, STD testing, and psychological support.
- Don’t blame yourself. The blame lies entirely with the perpetrator, not you. Ask professionals and support groups to come together.
Acts of stealth are violations of consent, autonomy, and trust. Addressing this issue legally and socially can protect victims and hold perpetrators accountable.
See also:
