Struggling to rebuild intimacy after miscarriage? Gynaecologist shares tips

When Aakriti and Akshay (names changed) lost their baby at eight weeks old, an invisible wall of grief stood between them. Aakriti was hurting emotionally and physically, but her husband, who was struggling with his own emotions, didn’t know what to say or do to make her feel better. Instead of growing closer over their shared grief, the intimacy of their relationship took a hit. “At times, he became hesitant to even hold hands, and I started feeling confident in the way I looked and felt. We wanted to connect again, but we didn’t know how,” says Aakriti. It is common for many couples to struggle with emotional and physical intimacy after a miscarriage.

Communication and professional guidance can go a long way in helping such couples heal together, senior gynecologist Dr. Rita Bakshi tells Healthshot.

“A miscarriage or miscarriage is a very difficult experience for any couple. Women may experience physical pain, sadness, and stress during this time. Many couples feel estranged from each other or wonder how to become close again. “Some people may feel scared to start over, and others may not be ready to be physically intimate again. So it’s important to give yourself and your partner time, patience, and love during this difficult time,” added Dr. Bakshi. Lisa IVF.

It’s important to understand how to slowly return to intimacy after a miscarriage or loss, and how to support your partner’s mental health during this time.

How does a miscarriage affect you psychologically?

Miscarriage is very emotionally painful. Many people feel very sad, confused, and blame themselves because they think it might be their fault. These feelings are normal and part of the recovery process.

Here are some common emotional changes after miscarriage according to Dr. Bakshi:

• Feeling very sad or crying easily
• You think it’s your fault (even when it’s not)
• feel angry or upset
• Feeling lonely or like no one understands you
• I’m scared of getting pregnant again
• Not sleeping or eating well
• I can’t enjoy the things I usually like
• Feeling distant from your partner or loved ones

When is the right time to be intimate after a miscarriage?

There is no set time for couples to resume sex after a miscarriage. It completely depends on their physical and mental health. “It is very important that the partner does not feel forced and feels comfortable. At this time, men play a very important role in their wives’ lives, because only men are more attached to their wives, both mentally and physically, and they also feel the same sense of loss,” explains Dr. Bakshi.

Please note the following points:

• Wait at least 2-3 weeks or until bleeding and pain stop
• Make sure both partners feel ready
• Don’t rush or feel pressured
• Talk openly about your feelings with your partner
• Listen to your body and respect your emotions
• If you’re not sure when it’s safe to try again, ask your doctor

How can we support each other during this time?

Miscarriage and bereavement are extremely difficult for both husbands and wives. They may feel a variety of emotions, which is completely normal. At this time, it is important for couples to support each other with simple things.

Here are some simple ways to support each other.

1. Listen carefully: Allow your partner to share their feelings without interrupting or criticizing you.
2. Share your feelings: Share your feelings so your partner understands you too.
3. be patient: Healing takes time, so it’s important to give each other time.
4. Show love: A little hug, kind word, or just being there can go a long way.
5. Please don’t blame: This is no one’s fault, so it’s important to remind each other of this.
6. Ask for help if you need it. Seeing a counselor can be a great help during this difficult time.

Additionally, it’s important to know that intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean sex. There are many other ways to feel closer and connected to your partner after losing a pregnancy.

“Try hugging each other, sitting close to each other and cuddling, holding hands, giving a soft massage, going for a walk or a quick date, talking, and sharing how you’re feeling,” says Dr. Bakshi.

What if one partner is ready and the other partner is not?

It’s very common for one partner to feel like they want to be intimate again after a miscarriage. On the other hand, it may take some time for the other person to become close again. This can lead to confusion, sadness, and even frustration. However, it’s important to remember that both feelings are normal.

“Instead of getting hurt or upset, try to talk openly and calmly. It’s important to let each other explain how they’re feeling, without pressure. Respect your partner’s space and focus on emotional intimacy first. Physical connection can come later, when you’re both ready,” explains Dr. Bakshi.

It is important to take things slow, show compassion, and be patient with each other so that we can both grow stronger during this time. Emotional and physical healing won’t happen at the same time for everyone, and that’s okay. And remember, it’s always okay to ask for help if you need it.