Trying to juggle work, family time, fitness goals, healthy eating, self-care, social events, and more can be overwhelming. So how does Just Bring Your Body trainer, fitness influencer, model, entrepreneur, and mother of two, Carmel Rodriguez, strike the perfect balance?
She is not! Here’s why: Endlessly chasing an unrealistic ideal of “perfect balance” only adds unnecessary stress to your life.
And anything that spikes stress levels, including pressure to be perfect, “isn’t really an investment you want to make,” Carmel says. Instead, she accepts that she is “unbalanced and completely imperfect.”
So what does that mean for her? “‘Perfectly imperfect’ means that some days just don’t work out,” Carmel says. “You’ll train, you’ll get dinner on the table, you’ll hug your kids a thousand times, your house will be clean, and you’ll be able to relax for a moment.”
“And then the next day, it all goes out the window,” she added. “I’m happy about that. It may not be perfect, but that’s how life is.”
Here are her tips for finding your own “perfectly imperfect” sweet spot.
1. Let go of perfection
“I’ve tried to be perfect in every way, but I’ve failed every time, because that doesn’t exist,” Carmel says.
Her advice: Let go of the pressure you put on yourself to “have to”. all things. “You want to keep going, and that’s okay. You have to have that drive,” she says. “But at the same time, we need to understand that we are human beings and we cannot continue like this.”
“We’re fighters at heart, but we just have to sit back and accept. That pile of laundry isn’t going anywhere for the next day or two. We’re going to get takeout tonight,” Carmel added. “The mythical ‘balance’ means that sometimes we have to let go of what we think we have to hold on to.”
2. Embrace where you are
When life is busy, it’s normal to want to regain a sense of calm as quickly as possible, or at least to appear as though everything is going smoothly.
“As parents, we want to look like we have everything when we walk out the door,” says Carmel. But if you stop fighting the hectic pace of life and simply accept that your current reality isn’t in perfect harmony, you may feel less stressed.
“When I’m overwhelmed, everything is on top of me, my stress level is high, I’m on the verge of a panic attack, and I can’t cope. I sit, breathe, and accept my situation,” says Carmel.
“If we can accept that, it will take a lot of weight off our shoulders,” she added.
3. Wake up a few minutes early.
If you have trouble making time for yourself, try setting your alarm clock a little earlier.
“My best and most proven time management strategy is to wake up early,” says Carmel. “Wake up as early as possible and have a little time for yourself in the morning.”
You can use that time to do some breathing exercises, do some housework, or finish your workout and dust yourself off before the rest of the house wakes up. “Once that’s done, it’s over. You can go on with the rest of your day,” Carmel says.
4. Find 1-minute tasks
It can be difficult to motivate yourself to tackle time-consuming tasks if you know you won’t have time to complete them. In other words, those tasks just keep piling up.
So instead of taking an all-or-nothing approach, Carmel is literally tackling her to-do list one minute at a time. “If there’s something around you that you can do in under a minute, do it right away,” she says.
“Just do it now. Get it out of your hair. Even if your counter is full of dishes and you can get four or five done, you can finish four or five and then walk away. And you’ll only get so much done throughout the day.”
5. Stay active together
Some days you may not have even 30 minutes for a full workout. But you can incorporate movement into your day by making active family time.
When Carmel’s children were small, she says, she used toys to build obstacle courses in her yard. Other times, she would push her two children in strollers and use the hills near her son’s kindergarten for an added challenge.
Now that their children are older and both are passionate about competitive sports, Carmel and her husband have turned practices and games into active family time.
“My husband and I try to attend every game with our kids,” she says. In between games, he finds ways to train together, such as soccer practice with his daughter. “My husband would coach us and we would train and partner together,” she says.
6. Eliminate “parental guilt”
It’s normal to feel like you should devote all your free time to family bonding time. But taking time out of your day to work out and cook healthy meals can be beneficial for the whole family.
“If I’m not functioning very well because I’m anxious, overwhelmed, overworked, dissatisfied, unhappy, angry, the whole family will feel it,” Carmel says.
Working out gives her a chance to recharge and reduce stress. “That’s investing in my family. Taking care of myself for my family,” she says. “Not only that…I paint for the kids. They realize they need to make time for themselves.”
7. Minimize obstacles
“On a logistics level, you have to have the package separated,” Carmel said. “We have to eliminate excuses because they come up a lot, and we often get tired, overwhelmed, and overreached.”
One of her favorite hacks is to keep her workout clothes and sneakers next to her bed so she won’t be distracted by her morning workout.
“I grabbed that and my water bottle and left the house,” Carmel said. “Before I turned left or right to do something else, it was already planned out. It was very systematic because I knew there were a lot of other distractions.”
8. Find the big picture motivation
After her second child was born, Carmel had recurring nightmares about her children being in danger and not being able to save them both. That inspired her and made her strong enough to switch into superhero mode if needed.
And these days, Carmel is motivated to get stronger so she can take care of her mother, who has health issues. “These are the things I’m training right now to get strong enough to have no problem lifting her, carrying her, and holding her if I need to.”
Of course, if you have the motivation to change your appearance, there’s nothing wrong with that. “I love looking good in jeans. I love having chiseled arms and abs. I’m all for it, trust me,” says Carmel. “Some days that motivates me.”
“But if that’s the only thing you do, I guarantee you it won’t last,” she added. So come up with a more meaningful “why” to get you through those low-motivation days.
“If you have real intent and a big picture…it’s always there,” she says. “And then you can get through those moments where you’re like, ‘I don’t care how I look today, but I care if I’m going to be there for my mom tomorrow.'” And that’s going to be a real motivator. ”
9. Master the mini-workout
If you only have a few minutes to train, Carmel suggests choosing three or four exercises you already know and love and repeating them until you run out of time.
“Use your whole body as much as possible and perform them in succession,” she says. “No matter who you are, you can get great training.”
One of her favorite moves is the mini cartwheel seen in “Just Bring Your Body.”
“The movements are playful, fun, and challenging, but doable once you learn the movements,” she says. “When you start building upper body strength, building up your cardio, and building that up, you look cool, which is all great.”
10. Take a holistic approach
Overtraining and obsessing over every calorie intake can cause severe stress. So when it comes to helping kids develop healthy habits, Carmel takes a more holistic approach.
For example, instead of having strict rules about what you should and shouldn’t eat, she focuses on building mindful eating habits.
“We eat casually, we sit down and take our time, and we don’t overeat,” she says. “We’re enjoying it. Now, because of the food we eat, we have the energy to do whatever we want throughout the day.”
11. Cut your slack.
“Schedule your physical activity at least three days a week. It’s just as important as your morning coffee or smoothie,” Carmel says. “But take the time to make it a lifestyle and a routine. Trying to achieve your fitness goals overnight while juggling life with dependents will only lead to overwhelm, unnecessary stress, and a lack of execution.”
“Do it with love and intention as an investment in yourself and your family,” she added. “This is the mindset that someone needs to make it stick.”
